04
Mar
With very few exceptions I have meditated every day since March of 2007. At that time I had lost a very dear friend and mentor, a woman that meant a lot to me. I needed to do something with that pain and loss, and I decided I’d meditate.
To be honest, I though meditation would be a sort of escape, a way to stop feeling all of the loss and confusion of the unexpected death of my friend. But I soon learned that meditation isn’t about escaping, fixing, or dismissing pain. I have found that for me meditation is about compassionately witnessing my pain, and accessing mu true loving essence. This month as I remember my friend’s passing, and celebrate all the gifts of my meditation practice I sat down and reflected on some of what I have learned during these seven years about meditation. I share some of it with you below.
1. When you meditate you aren’t escaping, you are arriving. You’re arriving to your true home. It’s so powerful to consciously state to yourself that meditation is an arrival. Of course, you’ll have parts that want to escape, especially when you are feeling stressed or in pain. But that’s ok. You are teaching yourself that the healing, the comfort, and the answers are always within. This takes time. Be pateint with yourself.
2. When we are busy is exactly when we need to meditate. It’s a myth, an illusion, to believe that we need to have a calm life to meditate. As author Collum Hayworth, author of the book, The Meditation Lifestyle, writes, “meditation is made for busy people”. I am a mother of five, a wife, a life coach and teacher. I have a lot going on, and meditating actually makes me more creative and productive. It is a wise investment of my time.
3. A consistent short meditation practice is more powerful than long meditations every now and then. Just give yourself five minutes a day. If you tell yourself you need to have 30 minutes it might never happen. Commit to five minutes a day and trust that it will take you where you need to go. If committing to five minutes is scary, take some time to journal and ask yourself, “What am I afraid would happen if I gave myself five minutes every day to meditate?” Just free-write and see what comes. If you miss a day don’t get discouraged. Be gentle with yourself. Understand that taking consistent time for yourself is a radical act of courage and self love. And, unfortunately, we don’t see a lot of models of that in our lives. Thank yourself for your attempt, and just restart the next day.
4. It helps to think of yourself as having a relationship with meditation. Because that’s kind of how it is. Once you begin meditating you might find that you love it. Maybe you have amazing experiences of love, light, color, and all sorts of cool things. You want to tell everyone about meditation. This is the honeymoon stage. Meditation feels sacred, beautiful and important. But it’s the beginning. Just like in marriage and friendship, our meditation practice deepens and strengthens as we are tested. So suddenly you might not want to meditate, you might find it boring, or annoying. That’s ok. When this happens know that you are entering a deeper phase. Stick to it. This is part of the growing process.
5. You are always a beginner. Back when I first started if I had imagined myself seven years later I would have thought to myself, “Wow I’m going to be some sort of ascended master by then.” But I am still me. And that’s the point. I am more me. I am a beginner, and I hope I always feel like one because it keeps me open, humble and ready to be taken deeper into my true self.
6. Do not compare yourself to others. Maybe you don’t get any images or sounds, or feelings. That’s ok. That, in fact, is not the objective. Actually having amazing experiences can be a distraction, almost like a high that we are constantly looking for. We need to stay focused on our intention. For me it is to access compassion for myself and others. Ask yourself what is your intention for your meditation practice. That is not to say that it’s wrong to receive images and visions. They can be incredibly helpful and reassuring, just be mindful for parts that start become attached to these types of experiences.
7. Don’t put off starting a meditation practice. I already addressed the common misconception that we need to wait until we have time. But you might also be tempted to wait until you have a special meditation cushion, an altar, the right candle, the right music, or until you’re in the right meditative mood. Start where you are at right now. Sit on a chair, a yoga mat, a pillow, or whatever feels comfortable for you and begin. Below is a simple practice you can do that I learned from modern mystic and writer, Andrew Harvey.
Heart Opening Practice
Sit with your back straight but comfortable. Close your eyes and take a few slow breaths. Bring your left hand over your heart. Your right hand can rest on your lap, or you can place it over your naval. Repeat each of the following phrases 5 times.
More Open
More Peace
You can add any other phrase you want. For example, I’ve been saying, “More surrender” as a way to surrender to my Divine Self. You can say each phrase out loud or silently, or start by saying the phrases out loud and at some point shift to repeating each phrase silently in your mind. You can also adjust the number of times you repeat it. The important thing is to decide on a practice and stick to it.
I invite you to commit to doing this practice (or any other one that you choose) every day for the month of March. If that feels like too much, try it for a week. Remember to be gentle. You want this to feel like something you want to do, not another chore on your to-do list.
I really believe that if you do this you will find that meditation is a gift to yourself and the people in your life.
Blessings and love,
Lisa
To be honest, I though meditation would be a sort of escape, a way to stop feeling all of the loss and confusion of the unexpected death of my friend. But I soon learned that meditation isn’t about escaping, fixing, or dismissing pain. I have found that for me meditation is about compassionately witnessing my pain, and accessing mu true loving essence. This month as I remember my friend’s passing, and celebrate all the gifts of my meditation practice I sat down and reflected on some of what I have learned during these seven years about meditation. I share some of it with you below.
1. When you meditate you aren’t escaping, you are arriving. You’re arriving to your true home. It’s so powerful to consciously state to yourself that meditation is an arrival. Of course, you’ll have parts that want to escape, especially when you are feeling stressed or in pain. But that’s ok. You are teaching yourself that the healing, the comfort, and the answers are always within. This takes time. Be pateint with yourself.
2. When we are busy is exactly when we need to meditate. It’s a myth, an illusion, to believe that we need to have a calm life to meditate. As author Collum Hayworth, author of the book, The Meditation Lifestyle, writes, “meditation is made for busy people”. I am a mother of five, a wife, a life coach and teacher. I have a lot going on, and meditating actually makes me more creative and productive. It is a wise investment of my time.
3. A consistent short meditation practice is more powerful than long meditations every now and then. Just give yourself five minutes a day. If you tell yourself you need to have 30 minutes it might never happen. Commit to five minutes a day and trust that it will take you where you need to go. If committing to five minutes is scary, take some time to journal and ask yourself, “What am I afraid would happen if I gave myself five minutes every day to meditate?” Just free-write and see what comes. If you miss a day don’t get discouraged. Be gentle with yourself. Understand that taking consistent time for yourself is a radical act of courage and self love. And, unfortunately, we don’t see a lot of models of that in our lives. Thank yourself for your attempt, and just restart the next day.
4. It helps to think of yourself as having a relationship with meditation. Because that’s kind of how it is. Once you begin meditating you might find that you love it. Maybe you have amazing experiences of love, light, color, and all sorts of cool things. You want to tell everyone about meditation. This is the honeymoon stage. Meditation feels sacred, beautiful and important. But it’s the beginning. Just like in marriage and friendship, our meditation practice deepens and strengthens as we are tested. So suddenly you might not want to meditate, you might find it boring, or annoying. That’s ok. When this happens know that you are entering a deeper phase. Stick to it. This is part of the growing process.
5. You are always a beginner. Back when I first started if I had imagined myself seven years later I would have thought to myself, “Wow I’m going to be some sort of ascended master by then.” But I am still me. And that’s the point. I am more me. I am a beginner, and I hope I always feel like one because it keeps me open, humble and ready to be taken deeper into my true self.
6. Do not compare yourself to others. Maybe you don’t get any images or sounds, or feelings. That’s ok. That, in fact, is not the objective. Actually having amazing experiences can be a distraction, almost like a high that we are constantly looking for. We need to stay focused on our intention. For me it is to access compassion for myself and others. Ask yourself what is your intention for your meditation practice. That is not to say that it’s wrong to receive images and visions. They can be incredibly helpful and reassuring, just be mindful for parts that start become attached to these types of experiences.
7. Don’t put off starting a meditation practice. I already addressed the common misconception that we need to wait until we have time. But you might also be tempted to wait until you have a special meditation cushion, an altar, the right candle, the right music, or until you’re in the right meditative mood. Start where you are at right now. Sit on a chair, a yoga mat, a pillow, or whatever feels comfortable for you and begin. Below is a simple practice you can do that I learned from modern mystic and writer, Andrew Harvey.
Heart Opening Practice
Sit with your back straight but comfortable. Close your eyes and take a few slow breaths. Bring your left hand over your heart. Your right hand can rest on your lap, or you can place it over your naval. Repeat each of the following phrases 5 times.
More Open
More Peace
You can add any other phrase you want. For example, I’ve been saying, “More surrender” as a way to surrender to my Divine Self. You can say each phrase out loud or silently, or start by saying the phrases out loud and at some point shift to repeating each phrase silently in your mind. You can also adjust the number of times you repeat it. The important thing is to decide on a practice and stick to it.
I invite you to commit to doing this practice (or any other one that you choose) every day for the month of March. If that feels like too much, try it for a week. Remember to be gentle. You want this to feel like something you want to do, not another chore on your to-do list.
I really believe that if you do this you will find that meditation is a gift to yourself and the people in your life.
Blessings and love,
Lisa