Healing the toxic, “I’m Behind” thought.

I’ve been in Mexico 7 months now. I can finally say I feel settled. There are, of course, still things to sort out. When you move to a new country there seems to be a never-ending list of processes to complete.

Despite that, I now wake up feeling more”at home.”

There are still waves of grief that ebb and flow, mostly around being a so far away from my adult children. I imagine this might always be part of my life here.

But that is also being soothed by the clear realization that this move to my ancestral home was also a gift for them, one that is beginning to bear fruit.

As I start to embody a new level of calmness, I’m able to much more clearly see those toxic thoughts that have been plaguing me for years.

One such thought is the, “I’m falling behind”, thought.

Looking back I see that this thought really took root back when I became pregnant in my late teens. At the time almost everyone in my life wrote me off as a young pregnant Latina that “would amount to nothing”.

It was very painful to hear this message, especially from loved ones, but I was determined to prove the world wrong.

I decided that I would still graduate college and somehow fulfill my dreams.

I knew it would be hard but truly I didn’t understand how hard it would be. This isn’t the time to share all those details, but suffice it to say that it took me 8 years to graduate college.

During those 8 years, the thought, “I’m behind” was a relentless task master. Back then I thought this thought was keeping on track.

But it was also creating a lot of anxiety as I always felt that I was catching up.

When I started my own business 15 years ago, this thought came back with a vengeance. With it came anxiety, restlessness, urgency, self-judgement, comparison.

The difference now was that I had professional support–coaches who helped me realize that this thought was creating unnecessary pain and furthermore, that I could choose a better thought.

I’ve been working on healing this thought for myself and for my clients for many years now.

I’ve learned that these toxic thoughts are often very subtle. They can be playing in the background of your mind like a whirring air conditioner that you don’t notice is so loud until it’s turned off.

Here in Mexico I realized that, although it’s a lot less intense than it was in the past, this thought was still in my head keeping me from being fully present in my life.

In my meditations, I brought this thought to my Soul and to my guides, like Mother Mary.  With their help I realized that I wasn’t behind. That I was right on time.

Furthermore, Mother Mary helped me see that because part of my mission was to help others through their initiations I often experienced them first, meaning that often I was actually ahead.

This was quite a mind-blowing realization.

So, my dear, if this, “I’m behind”, thought is poisoning your mind follow the steps below to begin powerfully clearing it.

First acknowledge it.

Second, realize this thought is not helping you.

If you notice resistance to healing it, ask yourself:
What am I afraid will happen if I let go of this thought? 

Answering this question will bring a lot of clarity on other beliefs that might need healing.

Then bring this thought, as if you were holding it in the palm of your hand, to your Soul and ask Her to heal it.

Your Soul will guide you on the steps to do this.

She will also share with you the true, enlightened thoughts you can practice so that you continue sharing your Soul’s medicine with self-approval, confidence and, dare I say it, JOY!

PS. If you need help with clearing the internal clutter, so you can follow your Soul’s guidance and share your unique medicine with the world,  I’d love to help. Schedule this free consult HERE.