My Healing in the Warrior Temazcal (sweat lodge)

One of the unexpected gifts of my new life is that there’s a Temazcal (Mexican sweat lodge) within walking distance of our home.

As I connect more deeply with the medicine of this indigenous practice of my ancestors, I’ve learned about two types of Temazcals: Guerrero (warrior) and Amoroso (loving).

Unknowingly, the first Temazcal I attended here, in my new city, was a Guerrero one.

As I entered the familiar dome shape and sat on the ledge that lined the circumference, I felt comforted and grateful that I had found a Temazcal so close to me.

I knew this wasn’t a coincidence and that Mother Mary had orchestrated it all.

As all the participants introduced themselves, several who had never attended a Temazcal before shared that they were nervous, but determined to get through it.

Conversely, I felt calm, because I’d attended several Temazcals in Mexico in my previous travels and had experienced a lot of healing.

The wise man leading the ceremony closed the makeshift door, which was actually a heavy blanket that covered the little entrance.
It went pitch black.

I realized I hadn’t been in a totally dark Temazcal before.

In my past experiences, there had always been one or two rays of light illuminating the space.The darkness felt crushing and, somehow, made the heat feel more intense.

Suddenly the space felt very small.

My chest tightened.

My breath got very shallow.

I started to feel light-headed.

I realized I was going into a panic and I needed to get out.

But this meant I’d have to stop the ceremony and step over a lot people to get to the entrance.
I didn’t want to interrupt everyone’s healing but I also wasn’t sure if I could stay.

Through the fog of fear, I heard the facilitator’s words: If you’re afraid, call on the abuelitas.

“Las abuelitas” were the hot volcanic rocks at the center of the Temazcal. Throughout the ceremony water is poured on these rocks to create the sacred steam that will cleanse the body, mind and soul.

These “abuelitas” represent the wise sacred grandmothers of humanity.

Help me, I implored them. If I’m supposed to stay here–and I think I am– help me release this panic.

The facilitator began playing a drum and chanting. I chanted along. He told us that, if we needed to, we could sit on the floor where it was cooler. Or, if we were called to, we could stand and experience more of the power of this warrior Temazcal.

I promptly sat on the floor.

The drumming and chanting had helped me, but I was still struggling.

Help me, I asked again.

That’s when the grandmothers spoke of my many initiations.

They listed them off, sometimes matter-of-factly and others times with great tenderness.

Great loneliness and suffering in childhood

Abusive men

Pregnant teenager

College student as a young mother

8 years to get college degree

Divorce with no family support

Left career to start something new

On and on they went, almost like they were talking to each other but I was being allowed to listen in.

They continued.

All the loss. All the unknowns. All the vulnerability.  All the courage.

They chuckled as they said to me, This Temazcal is nothing compared to all that.

Feel your strength. Release the story that tells you you’re weak and too sensitive. 

You’re a guerrera and so loved. 

Without thinking, I stood up.

The heat was almost unbearable toward the top. It felt like I was entering a sacred oven. But it felt right.

I stomped my feet.

I chanted along with all the other brave souls in the Temazcal who were experiencing their own healing.
I heard the Grandmothers chanting for me:

Guerrera/ Warrioress

Guerrera/ Warrioress

Guerrera/ Warrioress

Fuerza/ Strength

Fuerza/ Strength

Fuerza/ Strength

I felt my power become stronger than the heat.

My vision of myself expanded past old, damaging stories I’d been told–and then internalized–about my worth, my capabilities, and my value.

The drumming stopped. The closing part of the ceremony began.

Eventually the makeshift door was opened.

Light filled the space.

It was over. I made it.

Nothing was different but everything was different.

I am a guerrera.  Thank you. Thank you for reminding me, Grandmothers. 

Since that day, I’ve been integrating this beautiful gift. The old unworthiness story still creeps in but I can go back to that moment in the Temazcal and remember my power in a very tangible way.

That is my practice now. To stop the old story in its tracks and remind myself of the truth.

Every time I do this, my ability to help others release the lies they’ve been told grows exponentially.

You too are a guerrera/warrioress.

The Sacred Grandmothers chant for you as well.

They’re helping you release the old stories that keep you stuck, so that you can see your true self and share your medicine in a more profound way than ever before.

So, pause my dear guerrera and ask Las Abuelitas to show you what old story is ready to be released so you can see yourself as you truly are AND you can share your authentic self with the world.

Remember, your gifts are sacred and unique and the world needs them right now.

Blessings,

Lisa

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