How do you sabotage yourself?
This question isn’t meant as a judgement but rather as a catalyst for inner exploration.
But first, as you do this inner refection, it is important, that you call in the qualities of compassion, curiosity and courage. *
Compassion for yourself, because we all sabotage ourselves in one way or another. Most of us did not get taught how to advocate for ourselves so, of course, we find it challenging to commit to our heart’s desires.
Curiosity is important because this will encourage you to look deep within, not through an analytical lens, but with genuine loving interest in healing what needs to be healed.
Finally, call in courage. Committing to your Soul is not for the faint of heart. This is the work of a warrior woman who has finally decided that this is the lifetime when she will rise up, and fully express who she is meant to be.
When you’re ready, think about what kind of work you want to be doing in the world.
How do you want to help others? What kind of of life do you want to create?
These can be hard questions to answer. But so important to reflect on.
However, don’t get stuck there. Know that it’s fine if you don’t know all the details of your life’s purpose. You just need to know how you want to feel. So,
How you do you want to feel when you are doing the work that was meant for you?
How do you want to feel when you are helping others?
How do you want to feel everyday when you wake up and think about your life’s work?
Over the years I’ve heard my clients say things like,
I want to feel fulfilled.
I want feel like I’m doing meaningful work that does NOT deplete me.
I want to feel inspired and energized.
I want to feel financially stable and at peace.
I want to feel that as I do my life’s work my home life is balanced and spacious.
So now it’s your turn. Ask yourself how do you want to feel. Take some time to do this. Don’t rush yourself.
After you know how you want to feel, then it is essential to know the ways that you sabotage yourself.
In other words, what gets in the way of you cultivating these feelings, these intentions? What patterns have you noticed that keep creeping up right as you feel you start to make progress? Be honest with yourself remembering the qualities of compassion, curiosity and courage as you do this.
One of the ways I have sabotaged myself in the past is by taking care of others. This might seem confusing because certainly taking care of others feels like a significant part of my life’s purpose. But the truth is, that even if, and actually, especially if, your life’s purpose involves caring for others you absolutely need to start with yourself.
I am not suggesting that there are never times when you are called to put some things on hold while you tend to loved ones. But even in those special situations it is essential that you claim your time with your Soul so that you can get filled up, and give from a heart centered place.
I went through years in my life where everybody else’s needs came first. Sure, partly this was because my children were younger, but the truth is, even if I did not have children I would have sacrificed my own needs. That’s what I was taught by my mother and she was taught by her own mother.
I would have been scared to even ask myself what it is I wanted because I didn’t trust that I knew what my heart desired. And also a part of me was scared that what my heart desired was bad or selfish. So it it would have felt wrong to commit to myself. And if I am completely honest I see that it was easier to just let everybody else decide the direction my life should take. Because if everyone else decided I couldn’t blame myself. It was simply too scary to feel that I was actually responsible for my own life.
Of course, throughout that time I also had my inner warrior woman who kept slowly, but steadily, fighting to be heard. She’s the one who helped me finish college after I started having children, even when everyone was saying it was too late for me. She’s the part of me that was (and still is) a voracious reader, which at that time led me to books that helped me begin clearing those old patterns. And she’s the one who gave me the courage to finally seek professional help when it became clear that I couldn’t heal these old wounds on my own.
Over the years this pattern of caring for everyone else and neglecting my own journey has lessened tremendously. Of course, I still get hooked at times but it doesn’t last as long. I can recognize it and I can get back to my Soul.
When I connect with my Soul, when I make this a consistent, ongoing practice I am the best expression of myself. I am more loving. I am more compassionate. I am more patient. I am more creative. Everyone in my life benefits. Everyone I encounter benefits.
I see this with my clients as well. My client are already wonderful people to begin with. But when they truly start to commit to their Soul they are more loving and compassionate. Their creativity is enhanced, and their ability to hold space for others grows exponentially.
So it becomes clear that committing to your Soul, that making this connection a priority is actually the least selfish thing to do. It is so sad that we are fed this lie that making time for ourselves is selfish. Because, the truth is, that it is the most selfless thing to do– to commit to your Soul.
This commitment to your Soul is what will help heal your life and help heal the world.
It absolutely takes courage to be on this path.
So my dears thank you for reading this.
I invite you to take the time with courage, compassion and curiosity to take an inner journey and ask yourself how do you sabotage yourself, what patterns keep you stuck.
There is a lovely inner journey in the follow-up that can help you with this.
Love and blessings,
Lisa
Audio version of blog:
FOLLOW-UP- (audio version below)
First, create some sacred space. This can be as simple as imagining a circle of light around you, or you can play some beautiful music, light a candle, hold a crystal, or whatever feels sacred to you.
You might want to have a journal with you as you ask your Soul these questions. Then just let yourself receive. It’s OK if at first it seems like you don’t receive any guidance. The most important thing is for you to ask your Soul these questions with a clear intention, and then trust that you will receive the guidance at the right time.
Often the guidance shows up when you are not actively seeking it, like when you’re in the shower, or driving.
Remember that your Soul wants to help you and will give you the guidance you are seeking. So for now just focus on asking the questions and trust that what you’re looking for will come at the right time, which may be now or at a later moment.
So lets begin.
Bring the palms of your hands over your heart center and take some nice cleansing breaths. Then ground yourself by visualizing beautiful mother earth underneath your feet. You can even imagine strong roots of light going down your legs and out the bottoms of your feet deep into the earth. Then say something like this:
Beautiful Soul,
Fill me with your Courage, Compassion and Curiosity as I do take this inner journey.
I am ready to step into the next evolution of my life’s work. I am ready to share my gifts with the world in a way that brings me joy and fulfillment AND that blesses others. I know that no one else has the unique Soul medicine that I have and I know that the world desperately needs it.
Now take a moment to just let yourself receive, courage, compassion and curiosity. You might imagine your Soul standing before you filling you with the energy of these three Soul qualities. Perhaps you see beautiful light of different color representing that courage, compassion and curiosity.
Notice the beautiful energy of courage fills your solar plexus, right around your abdominal area, filled with this golden light. Then your Soul brings her hand over your heart center and fills your heart with compassion, your Soul’s compassion with this beautiful pink light.
Now your Soul touches the crown of your head and your infused with this purple light. Bringing the energy of curiosity. Curiosity that has no judgement, just deep interest.
Take a few breaths as those energies become integrated.
Show me, beautiful Soul how I sabotage myself. Show me those patterns that block me from making progress.
And just take a moment and be silent. Listen for any words, feelings, images. And, again, it’s ok if nothing comes now but again asking:
Show me, beautiful Soul how I sabotage myself. Show me those patterns that block me from making progress.
And whether you received guidance now or will receive it later, now ask your Soul:
Show me how I can release these old patterns. How can I heal this self-sabotage? Again,
Beautiful Soul show me how I can release these patterns that keep me blocked? How can I heal this self-sabotage?
Again, just listen. Just be open. And if your receive any guidance you might want to write it down in your journal.
And if you did not, trust that the guidance will come to you at the right time and in the right way for you.
As you close the meditation tell your Soul,
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Blessings and love,
Lisa
Audio version of follow-up