14
Aug
This week I was led to do an impromptu forgiveness ceremony. I’d gone to an energy healing session that had helped me tap into feelings of hurt that I was carrying from past relationships. Over the years I’ve done a lot of forgiveness work, and now it felt like another layer was coming up for release. The wonderful healing practitioner helped me let go of anger, resentment and guilt that I was still carrying in my body. I left her healing space feeling lighter and more grounded, and knew that I needed to spend some sacred time in nature to continue my healing.
I decided to drive to a beautiful nearby lake. When I arrived I started walking around the path that encircles the lake, taking in the various birdcalls, the colorful flowers, and the joyful buzzing of insects. Nature always uplifts me and soon enough I could feel the presence of my higher self and Spirit both inside and around me. As I prayed, I was guided to bring to mind the relationships I was ready to heal in a deeper way.
Although I had imagined I’d be focusing on one particular relationship I realized that there were actually four relationships that were still very much affecting me in a negative way, even if often times this was unconscious. I saw clearly that I was carrying the burdens of those relationships like a heavy backpack–everywhere I went those burdens were with me, and they affected the lens through which I saw the world.
I was guided to gather four stones as a way of releasing these relationships. I took the first stone, thanked it for its healing energy and focused on one of the people. I then asked that all of the anger, resentment, and negative energy I had towards this person be transformed. I also asked forgiveness for anything that I had ever said or done that had not honored them. I asked to only keep the gifts and the blessings of that relationship and prayed for Spirit to provide the grace that was needed to authentically forgive. Finally, I threw the stone in the lake as I affirmed that I was truly willing to forgive and be free of these burdens.
I walked around the lake and repeated this process three more times with each of the remaining people. At this point I thought I was done–not done forgiving, which I know is an evolving process, but done at least for now. Then I realized I had one more person. The hardest person for me to forgive, the person that every day I blame, and constantly complain about– me.
Ugh! I wasn’t prepared for this and considered doing a quick escape. But I was feeling Spiritually led, and somewhat courageous, so I trusted. I walked along the path and looked for a big stone. Once again I thanked it and walked towards the lake. I took several breaths and was aware of how much self-blame I hold. Surprisingly, the hard part wasn’t forgiving myself for things I’d done to other people, it was forgiving myself for what I had done to myself. I asked forgiveness for all the ways I had dishonored myself, betrayed myself, not protected myself, hurt my body, and put off following my truth. As I threw the stone in the lake I prayed for self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-approval to wash over me.
I walked towards my car, feeling like I had just set some big things in motion. I knew that over the coming days and weeks I would feel the effects of what I had just done. I had enough experiences to understand that, at least for me, these kinds of prayers are answered gradually, at just the right time, in just the right way, often in surprising and unexpected ways. My job now was to continue to make myself ready—through prayer, meditation, nature walks, gratitude, and all those things that keep my heart open– to receive these miracles of forgiveness.
Follow up:
Are there past relationships, hurts, and events, that you are carrying around that you are ready to release?
Do you feel guided to do self-forgiveness work? If so, take some time to check inside and see what feels like the right way to begin.
I decided to drive to a beautiful nearby lake. When I arrived I started walking around the path that encircles the lake, taking in the various birdcalls, the colorful flowers, and the joyful buzzing of insects. Nature always uplifts me and soon enough I could feel the presence of my higher self and Spirit both inside and around me. As I prayed, I was guided to bring to mind the relationships I was ready to heal in a deeper way.
Although I had imagined I’d be focusing on one particular relationship I realized that there were actually four relationships that were still very much affecting me in a negative way, even if often times this was unconscious. I saw clearly that I was carrying the burdens of those relationships like a heavy backpack–everywhere I went those burdens were with me, and they affected the lens through which I saw the world.
I was guided to gather four stones as a way of releasing these relationships. I took the first stone, thanked it for its healing energy and focused on one of the people. I then asked that all of the anger, resentment, and negative energy I had towards this person be transformed. I also asked forgiveness for anything that I had ever said or done that had not honored them. I asked to only keep the gifts and the blessings of that relationship and prayed for Spirit to provide the grace that was needed to authentically forgive. Finally, I threw the stone in the lake as I affirmed that I was truly willing to forgive and be free of these burdens.
I walked around the lake and repeated this process three more times with each of the remaining people. At this point I thought I was done–not done forgiving, which I know is an evolving process, but done at least for now. Then I realized I had one more person. The hardest person for me to forgive, the person that every day I blame, and constantly complain about– me.
Ugh! I wasn’t prepared for this and considered doing a quick escape. But I was feeling Spiritually led, and somewhat courageous, so I trusted. I walked along the path and looked for a big stone. Once again I thanked it and walked towards the lake. I took several breaths and was aware of how much self-blame I hold. Surprisingly, the hard part wasn’t forgiving myself for things I’d done to other people, it was forgiving myself for what I had done to myself. I asked forgiveness for all the ways I had dishonored myself, betrayed myself, not protected myself, hurt my body, and put off following my truth. As I threw the stone in the lake I prayed for self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-approval to wash over me.
I walked towards my car, feeling like I had just set some big things in motion. I knew that over the coming days and weeks I would feel the effects of what I had just done. I had enough experiences to understand that, at least for me, these kinds of prayers are answered gradually, at just the right time, in just the right way, often in surprising and unexpected ways. My job now was to continue to make myself ready—through prayer, meditation, nature walks, gratitude, and all those things that keep my heart open– to receive these miracles of forgiveness.
Follow up:
Are there past relationships, hurts, and events, that you are carrying around that you are ready to release?
Do you feel guided to do self-forgiveness work? If so, take some time to check inside and see what feels like the right way to begin.
The lovely space that supported my forgiveness work–Lake Katherine, in Palos Heights, IL.